Spirit!

London has spirit.  He’s passionate.  He experiences life with a little more intensity than the rest of us. 

All parents of toddlers can relate to the words I’ve used to describe London.  It’s just that he’s always spirited and always passionate and always intense.  That makes him extraordinary.  I read a book a year or so ago entitled, “Raising Your Spirited Child.”  The author, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, described London perfectly.  Since talking with London’s preschool teacher this week, it makes sense to re-read the book before our meeting with her to discuss London’s behavior. 

The biggest challenge I have with disciplining such a passionate boy, is that there is a point of no return when he’s just flipped and can’t be calmed down.  Timeouts only cause him to scream louder and spit and blow his nose – yes, without tissue.  (I swear that he does this for dramatic effect.)  The challenge for me is identifying when I need to take a different approach in time to avoid the super-meltdown.  My fear is that I won’t discipline enough because I’m avoiding the point of no return.

While I’m using “I” a lot, of course Blu & I both discipline.  He just doesn’t care about reaching the point of no return.  In part, I think he is less sensitive to London’s freak-outs, but also because he’s rarely alone with both kids and doesn’t have to worry about waking Violet or getting London to bed on time.  Even when I travel, he usually has help from the nanny or a babysitter.  Now that London is “expressing himself” at school this way, Blu is more interested in his discipline.   (Of course, this is just a reflection of us – I over-think/over-research/over-plan and he takes it all in with an easy, laid back style.)

To me, this is serious.  This is crucial to London’s future.  The way we discipline him now will be reflected for the rest of his life.  His passion could drive him to become a great leader or a trouble maker.  (Wonder where he gets that drama?) 

So seriously, what do we do?  He just started Taekwondo and we’re hoping that we can use what his master says in class to help him become more respectful.  We’ll meet with the teacher next week to talk about her recommendations. 

 

Comments

[Jan]

I too have a spirited child who is now 11. I read a book called The Indigo Child which provided some helpful tips. In brief, they are passionate, dramatic, energetic and incredibly smart. They are the leaders of tomorrow. They are trying out their leadership skills now - basically giving us grown-ups some challenges! Taekwondo is a great outlet. Maybe a children's drama class as well. My advice is to limit the discipline so he can be himself, have a nice big glass of wine and try to become a bit more laid back.