London Calling

Raise the Roof!

Last weekend was my aunt and uncle's 25th anniversary.  We headed up to Wisconsin and whooped it up with the family.  My brother came to town.  It was a big deal.

For my brother and dad & I, it was a big "first."  It was the first celebration without my mom.  She was such an integral part of every celebration and most of the time, she was the life of the party.  She danced all night.  She was a blast.

I think that we all worried about going to the party.  Would we cry too much?  (We cried a bit. Who wouldn't?)  Would we get silly drunk?  Sad drunk?

In the end, we danced for her.  We toasted to her.  We cried -- just a little -- for her.  We celebrated her.  We celebrated our family.

I think that my mom would've been proud.  We didn't make messes of ourselves -- until we hit the biker bar after the party.  And we had fun.  She would be happy to see us all smiling and together. 

Cheers mom!  We love you and I think that we're going to make it.

The bribe

We don't negotiate with terrorists (aka toddlers).  Well, maybe we do.  We've implemented several incentive programs:  stickers, special privileges, special "treats."  Usually, you have to earn a certain number of stickers before you get a special treat.  But a lot of the time, an ice cream or trip to McDevil's or an organic chocolate milk from Bucks (hey, at least it's organic), is used to "encourage" positive behavior (aka bribe).

Tonight, I caved for a turd.  Most parents will get this.  London was prepping to crap his pants -- under the kitchen table -- when we decided that we wouldn't let it happen -- even if it had already started.  We had a "Harold" (Thomas the Train helicopter) in the cabinet waiting on his final blue Dora potty training sticker. 

So, as he sat on the toilet -- so cute -- and cried about how he didn't have to "go," we knew that we had to pull out something special.  At first, I thought that if he held Harold in his package, it would be inspiration enough.  Not quite.  And frankly, when the kid pushed and pushed and finally, splash, produced "his goal," we new that the incentive had to be big.

You see, we had just used our last pull-up.  He's been clean and dry for months and we've been feeling guilty about the environmental (and financial) drain.  So, tonight was the night.  Or we were going to Target to buy more pull-ups.

Bottom line:  he's telling me how great Harold is and how he is flying up in the sky and how he wants to sleep with Harold and is reviewing the Thomas catalog for his next "incentive" program. 

"Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable." Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck knew what she was talking about. 

Just when I wonder if the sign of the devil may really be somewhere on his body -- when he screams at the top of his lungs, and talks back, and he literally shakes with anger -- that's when this quote comes in handy.

First, I remember that beating him isn't the answer.  I take a time out or do a little yoga breathing or whatever.

Second, I think back to his sleep pattern.  Did he nap?  (not any more) Did he go to bed late?  Did we do a lot in the morning? 

Third, I determine the approach.  When I push, he pushes harder.  When he's tired -- which is usually the problem -- I need to get him to relax and quiet down.  Sometimes, he'll just fall asleep in my arms.  If he's not tired, I prepare for a time out.  That equals three minutes of top-of-lung-screaming and snot blowing and head slamming.  By the end of three minutes, he's pretty tired out and ready to give in.

And when I just don't know what to do, I need to remember what Bombeck said.  He's needing love and just doesn't know how to say it.  I guess there are a lot of adults like that too. 

"Don't count the days. Make the days count." Muhammad Ali

We had a fun day.  No work -- not even a peek at the Bberry.  No house cleaning.  No errands.  No guilt.  Today was a staycation day:  a vacation at home. 

Violet and I started the day with a run.  Then the kids & I met friends in the city at the Green City Farmer's Market for crepes.  We walked through the zoo and just played with no agenda.  When the kids started getting fussy, we headed home.  No deadline.  No agenda.

After a little rest, the kids & I played.  We watched Violet practice her crawl and roll around on the floor.  London made her laugh and laugh. 

Just before the rain came, we took a very fast walk to the Parkview Gourmet to buy a half bottle of my favorite wine -- because mommy needs something special on vacation too -- and made it home just as the rain started.  We ate a silly mish-mosh of a dinner:  carrots & peas for Violet; corn, whole wheat pretzel & cheese for London; corn, broccoli and shrimp for me. 

Now, London is up too late and eating a Dora Popsicle.  Daddy just got home from working out and London's asking him why he's watching the Food Network. 

So I work full (plus) time and travel, but I make the time with my kids count.  (Not every single minute, but most.)