I’ve talked quite a bit about London’s spirit over the years. He has a lot of passion and we’ve felt that he experiences some things differently than other kids. One of our most regular examples involves putting on socks. Most kids at some time are uncomfortable with their socks. London is always uncomfortable. He can spend 15-20 minutes in the morning getting them just right and he’ll only wear really worn socks that are a specific size. There are a few other examples of his quirkiness – like super intense meltdowns and lots of energy – which we just attributed to London being London.
Last month, I brought the kids to the doctor for their annual physicals and flu shots. London was unusually energetic and he was also very concerned about “shots.” Last year, the nurse took blood from his finger for a lead test that took quite a long time. I held him tightly while the nurse squeezed his finger and he was just a big mess. This year, we had to draw the blood again because we didn’t get enough of a sample the year before.
Once London realized what was about to happen, he launched into the worst temper tantrum I’ve experienced. And now that he’s six, he’s really strong. I held him but he kicked and spit and screamed and made the experience very difficult for the nurse and for me. Poor Violet just sat in a corner and cried. I felt so bad for them both.
As we walked out of the office the doctor met us in the hall. At that point they were merely whimpering after I gave them a lollipop and bribed them with Panera Bread macaroni and cookies before I brought them back to school. She explained to London that he’ll only need flu shots until he was 11. He didn’t seem to be impressed with the news.
Later that night, the doctor called our house and talked to me about London’s behavior. She told us that London had more energy than a normal kid and his behavior at her office that day was unusual. It was important, she said, for him to get help now or he’ll have challenges as he gets older.
At first, I felt like an ass. How could I have not seen this? We’ve asked teachers about his behavior and they’ve never confirmed our concerns. I thought that we just weren’t firm enough with discipline and frankly, his behavior has gotten much better over the past year. Later though, I felt affirmed. So there was a reason for his “spirit” and the challenges we’ve had with clothing and transitions and times when experiences were just too much for him. But what do we do about it?
In mid-December, London started meeting with an Occupational Therapist once a week. He loves going there – we call it the “playroom.” He gets to swing on this big tire swing that hangs from the ceiling and that calms him. He plays and climbs and puts his feet in a big bin of rice. He works on writing and now we’re talking about his “engine” and understanding when it’s running too fast.
He likely has Sensory Processing Disorder which means he processes sensory information incorrectly. (e.g. His socks may feel like pins sticking his toes.) He tends to over respond to some sensations, but not all. There are a lot of kids who are very limited by SPD. London is pretty lucky and by working with an OT, he’ll be able to learn how to react in a more socially acceptable way and to sooth himself when a sensation bothers him. The timing is perfect for this kind of therapy because he’ll be entering a new school in the fall with a structure that may be less comfortable for him than Montessori is now.
Blu & I are more patient now when we see him struggling with a sensory issue. Our feelings have transitioned from frustration to wanting to help him work through it or to find another option. Now that we know he’s not just being difficult, it’s so much easier. We’ve also learned that when he’s in an intense mood, a very firm bear hug can calm him quickly. Wish we learned about the bear hug years ago!