London Calling

A prayer for Kathy

My mom starts chemo today and my prayer for her is pretty simple:

• Give her strength
• Keep germs and germie people away from her so that her body can focus on fighting one bad thing at a time
• Give her something special every day -- big or little -- that reminds her why she's putting up with this again

• Please don't make her barf -- she hates that more than anything

And a special thanks for ...

• All of her wonderful friends
• Kisses from her grandchildren
• Her strong will -- we knew it would come in handy one day
• Those horrible chemicals that have allowed her to see both of her children marry, the birth of her first grandchild, to meet and play with her three grandchildren and which will allow her to see her fourth grandchild be born very, very soon
• Her unusual sense of humor and her willingness to laugh at her own jokes

The latest email from the Dominator (aka my dad)

My dad sends these emails out to his friends.  They're a little dramatic and once or twice, I've learned things about my family from the mass email, but nonetheless, they highlight my mom's fight.

Dear Treasured Friends and Family,

Enough already!  We have had it.  We want to coast.  We want to play.  Cancer keeps rearing it's ugly head and causing havoc.

 

Kathy and I went to see Dr Shade, Kathy 's oncologist this past  Friday.  The ovarian cancer is back.  Kathy will have a cat scan Tuesday the 21st and begin chemo treatments this Friday.  Kathy will be taking a new chemo cocktail, Doxil. It is stealth technology.  I don't have clue what that means, and Carboplatin.  The first treatment will last for three hours the remaining five treatments will be two hours. Kathy will have chemo every four weeks. Past chemo treatments were every three weeks and that was too hard on Kathy.   Previous treatments were 6 hours one session and the following session would be two hours.  So that's a positive, poisoning my wife in a shorter time period.

 

Kathy has no protection from the environment.  Kathy has Estrogen negative receptors.  I don't know what that means either.  What I do know is that the God of the Universe has His protective Hand on my wife and that large insurance policy I have on her will just have to wait.

 

This will be Kathy's 5th round of chemo treatments.  I asked Dr. Shade if Kathy had become chemo tolerant and he said no.  He explained Kathy's ovarian cancer is like a garden that weeds have taken over and need to be taken care of.  So, if Dr Shade is giving me a garden analogy and we are all trying to go "green" why are we using poison to treat my wife?

 

We have told both of our adult children and they took it well.  They knew it would come back.  I didn't.  I thought it was over.

 

God is preparing us for another fight that we will win.  He keeps pointing out His promises in His Word, and at church this past Sunday, some words from a song, "Ye who long pain and sorrow bear, Praise God and on Him cast your care".  And then ending the service with "Great is Thy Faithfulness"  I needed that affirmation.

 

And then very early Sunday morning, I am multi-tasking.  Doing laundry, washing a floor and channel surfing.  At work, I can't  answer the phone and write at the same time but at home, I scare myself.   So back to channel surfing, I come across the Home Shopping Network and they are showing wigs. (Yes, Kathy will loose her hair again and bye-bye eyebrows!)   A special promotion for cancer patients.  I don't know if this is a sign from God or I've totally lost my mind.  I bought three wigs and I had the customer service person in tears when I told her how  God has carried Kathy on a cancer journey for eight years.  I continue to surf and come across ASKGODTV.  Judson Poling from my church is on the panel along with five other smart bible types .  People send in questions and the panel takes turns answering them from a biblical perspective.  A question comes up, "Why does my chronic disease keep coming back?" I was gasping for air.  I didn't hear the answer, I had to run into the laundry room.  I don't care what the answer was.  I know that God has carried Kathy and I through some awe-fully rugged terrain and He has never let us down.  I expect God to carry us through this next leg of living with cancer.  Even if Kathy should pass into Glory or I stroke out at work and take the Glory Train home, we win, we win!

 

So, we have cranked up the hope-er, we have peace and are not afraid.  We have a case of new candles and have gotten use to dancing on a bowed floor.

 

So, (I've said so too many times, haven't I?) specific prayer requests:  Kathy would remain strong and healthy and her white blood count would remain high. No puking! That Kathy continue to work three days per week. because she likes to and we need the money.  Please pray that I stay healthy so I can serve Kathy and pick up the slack around the house.  A biggie, that I keep my job!

 

The best medicine for Kathy is our grand-kids.  We have a new granddaughter that will be ripe in 6 weeks and Kathy will be in the delivery room.  I have no doubt that she will be there.  We will have four grand-kids.  I say we steal a bus and kidnap them and take off for Never Never Land!  OK, maybe not steal the bus, borrow.

 

Yes, we know we are sucking you dry from all your prayers and we are grateful beyond words.  You are all on this journey with us.  You Rock!

 

In His Grip,

Kathy B the Mohamed Ali in the Cancer Ring

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee," Kathy B is about to start her fifth round of chemo in seven and a half years this week and I'm confident that the cancer will end up the loser this round.  She's strong, she's stubborn and she has lots of support and love from friends and family.  Plus, she spent lots of time with all of her grandkids this fall and is planning on being at the birth of her fourth grandchild in just a few weeks.  Nothing could keep her away. 

I'm proud of her strength.  She's already passed the five-year survival rate, which was only 10 percent.  Each year, the technology to fight gets better and although she's had a few low times when she was ready to quit, this time she seems to be entering the ring with both fists up.  Go mom!

 

Annual Mother's Day Y-Me Walk: The Fighting Bialecki's

This year, like the past five or six, we'll be kicking off our mother's day celebration by participating in Chicago's Y-Me walk.  Some years there are more of us, some years less.  Some years we go out for a big brunch and others we stay home and cook.  Three years ago, we told my mom that she was going to be a grandmother just before the walk.  She was glowing for all three miles.  Last year London ran around the baseball fields after the walk, proud of his new skill.  Emily always captures the attention of other walkers with her t-shirt and her very own bib number.   

This year I'll walk with my parents, London, Emily and Aunt Barb and her friend Angie while Barry stays home to make a big brunch.  I'm not sure if London will sit in his stroller or try to walk the whole way.  It should be interesting. 

If you would like to donate to Y-Me as part of your mother's day tradition, please visit The Fighting Bialecki's web page. 

Mamalamagram

I went for my baseline mammogram on Friday and it was a lot less eventful than I had expected.  It was:

1. Quick
2. Not painful -- way less "pressure" than a regular dentist appointment
3. Less embarrassing than I expected

I was fortunate enough to go to Prentice Women's Hospital, which is brand new and beautiful -- an entire hospital dedicated to women's health.  Only four pictures and frankly less uncomfortable than dental x-rays.  Maybe it was less embarrassing because I had experienced childbirth and had all kinds of people messing around in places that used to be private.  But overall, it wasn't bad.  It was a breeze.

So, to my girlfriends who are in your mid to late thirties:  Do It!  Save your life.  It's not a big deal.  And celebrate your good health with a pedicure or martini or a date night after wards.  Breast cancer is best beaten with early detection.  Own your destiny.

Need help with a team name

My mother-in-law, Barry's aunt and grandmother are joining us this year for our annual Mother's Day Y-Me Breast Cancer Walk.  We need a kick-ass team name for a group of saucy broads who are all -- except for Jackie (my mother-in-law) -- breast cancer survivors.  Of the 5 ladies participating, we have four last names so we can't be anything like "the fighting Bialeckis" (a past favorite).  We'll have t-shirts and may open up the team to non-family members who would like to walk.  Some ideas:

• Pretty in Pink
• Pink ladies
• Boob Fighters (take on Foo Fighters - but if I have to explain it, it doesn't work)
• The fight of our lives
• Small package -- big fighters (the ladies are petite -- except me)

Any ideas?  Please leave comments.  As you can tell, I need help!

I dare you

Cheers to Robin Roberts who went sans wig at a GMA fashion show.  She looked gorgeous which is really hard to do when you're bald -- even if Isaac Mizrahi designed your dress.  I remember when Melissa Etheridge played at the Grammys without a wig.  My mom -- whose hair was just starting to grow back after chemo -- decided that if Melissa could go without a wig, so could she. 

Thanks for being brave and beautiful and just plain ballsie.

Boobs on ice

I had to laugh a little when I browsed my Google Reader this morning and saw an article about a blog written by Susan Reynolds called, "Boobs on Ice."  Susan found a lump on her breast in early December and decided to document her fight against cancer in a blog.  Her audience has grown considerably -- even the Washington Post has taken notice of her message.

First, cheers to Susan for building a community through her fight.  My mom, who has been battling breast and ovarian cancer for over six years, had a disappointing experience with her cancer support group.  She said that it was such a downer to go and listen to everyone talk about dying.  She wanted to build herself up with positive energy and she just felt drained when she went to group.  Fighting cancer is draining enough.  And while everyone needs to share the lows, it's refreshing to find someone who is willing to have a little fun.

My mom has said that a few of her friends have asked her if she knew how sick she really was.  I think they are expecting her to be more somber or something.  She laughs when they ask -- really, she's a nurse, so duh, she probably knows more than she'd like to about her fight.  Her answer is that she feels that focusing on the negatives are a big waste of time and I think that her attitude is the best medicine in the world.

Susan, Mom - Thank you for fighting.  Thank you for laughing.