London Calling

On stage: London's first big performance

They say that public speaking is feared more than death.  I love the limelight when speaking is concerned, but my singing is limited to the car or shower or in front of the kids.  (Blu wishes that I'd stop singing when he's around too, but he's a captive audience on a road trip.) 

The kids were born to sing and dance.  They put on shows for us whenever we have a family event and sing their way through the day.  Last week, London had his first big kid performance with a first and second grade music assembly.  For most kids, singing in front of a crowd can be intimidating.  But with all of the inputs -- lights, people, loud noise -- I was worried that London might not be able to handle it all.

I think I've mentioned that London bites when he's really overwhelmed.  So far -- knock on wood -- he hasn't chopped down on a classmate.  He's opened his mouth like he was going in for a big bite of flesh but has been able to stop himself.  As I watched him walk onto the stage, I imagined the worst.  Would he bit the kid next to him in front of his whole class?  Would that be the thing kids remember about him at high school graduation? 

Spoiler:  He was fine.  (I didn't want you to get too worried.)  Before the show, I reminded him of some of the exercises he learned at occupational therapy.  He kind of brushed me off at the time, but I saw him using them during the show which made me more proud of him than I already was.  He sang.  He danced.  He kept his cool.  That was a really big deal. 

Cup stacking

London cup stacking

London has always played with toys a little differently than most kids.  As a toddler, he'd line up his match box cars or Thomas trains and only rarely would he play with them.  He'll spend hours building with legos or Lincoln Logs and when his project is complete, he moves on. 

About a week ago, London came home and asked if we had any plastic cups.  He'd recently been introduced to Cup Stacking in gym and wanted to give us a demonstration.  We didn't really have the kind of cups he needed so I texted Blu and asked him to stop at the store on the way home from kicking A at TKD to get a pack. 

The next morning, London could barely make it through breakfast because he was so excited about cup stacking.  We literally had to tear him away with a few tears shed in the process to get him to the bus stop. 

That night he was right back at it.  He spent some time patiently showing Violet how to play the game.  At first, this seemed like a great tool for London to use to calm himself.  But, I was so, so wrong.  When we would make noise -- even in another room -- and London would make a stacking mistake, he would freak.  Like a super scary angry freak.  We had to walk away a few times.

But he would not be stopped.  On Saturday, the babysitter spent the afternoon with the kids while we worked at the store for a special promotion.  She took them to her house for a little while where she had an official Cup Stacking set and he played for hours.  He's like a little cup stacking maniac.

I did just a bit of research regarding cup stacking.  From what I've read, the stacking helps with sensory integration.  It also allows kids who aren't interested in or very good at traditional sports to "win" at something else.  I kind of like that idea.  One day, we may even have an Olympian Cup Stacker in the family. 

We could use a little help here

It's a bit ironic -- I hate to ask for help and the one time that I'm asking just about every person I can think to ask, we're just not getting it.  Before the school year started, I reached out to our district's Special Ed department head and to London's teacher.  (Well, the sub who was teaching the class until this Monday while our full-time teacher was on maternity leave.)  Special Ed said that London couldn't be evaluated until he was in school 60-90 days (can't remember, I think it was 90 days).  Until then, we could work with our teacher to help him with any special needs.  I sent over copies of London's OT progress in hopes that if he had problems, it would help the Special Ed staff find a solution more easily.

So ... I talked with the sub who said that she was familiar with Sensational Kids and had some ideas for helping London throughout the day.  When I didn't hear anything, I thought that he was adjusting well.  I was concerned that he was having a hard time making friends, but at least he could sit still at his desk and he was enjoying learning.  About two weeks ago, we had our parent - teacher conferences.  That's when the sub told us that London was having a hard time keeping his hands to himself in line and that they had to put him at the end of the line.  In fact, his "touching" was so bad that a parent had called her to complain.

At first I thought, well at least he hasn't bitten anyone yet.  But I'm sure that he scares his classmates when he approaches them with his mouth wide open.  Later, when I had time to think about it more, I was angry.  If I had known that London was struggling, we could've worked with our Occupational Therapist to get him tools so that he wouldn't have to struggle so much.  Why didn't his teacher talk with a school OT to help build a plan for him?  Why aren't we helping him?

There is a little ray of sunshine from this all.  You see, London is very aware of his Sensational challenges.  He knows that he has a hard time controlling himself when inputs are too much.  And, he has been able to stop himself from biting kids at school.  (Family is another thing, but we're working on it.)  He knows that some things help him cool down his engine:  soft music, heavy work, running.  Since he can identify his sensory overload, it will be so much easier for him to manage it -- but we have to give him the right tools to do it. 

I will not fail this kid.  He is smart and sweet and wants to have friends and be a regular kid.  I've realized through our experiences in the first quarter of school that we have to advocate for him very passionately and regularly.  Which means, I'll be THAT mom.  

 

(London's most awkward class photo from a field trip.  We cried when we saw how uncomfortable he looked.  More recent photos are better and he's made three friends in class.)

Once bitten: travel causes pain for London & me

I've been on the road for business most of October.  The biggest challenge is that I've lost a few weekend days to travel as well.  All kids get a little squirly when there is a change at home, but London has been acting out in ways that I haven't seen in a while.

Even though I've taken off a little early from work a day or two and took a Friday to spend with the kids at Kohl Children's museum, that doesn't seem to make up for all of the nights that I've been out of town.  (We had a blast at the museum.  The kids could've stayed there for days.  London bit me about a dozen times throughout our museum visit.)

And there we have it.  London has started biting me again.  It's just me and he bites my arms.  He started doing this when I first began traveling again -- he was just over a year old at the time.  I've noticed that it only happens after I've been away.  But (1) it hurts and (2) I'm scared to death that he'll bite a kid from school.  (He'll occaisionally take a bite out of Violet too.)

The Occupational Therapist suggested giving him gum to chew so that he's not thinking about chewing me.  I'll give it a try I guess.  It makes sense to me -- give him something else to chew instead of my arm. 

Two more trips scheduled before Thanksgiving.  (I've cancelled one other trip that can be handled by a colleague.)  We send each other videos and Facetime whenever we can but I don't think that helps as much as I'd like to think.  Below is an example of how we say good night many nights when I'm away.  Kind of sad, but still cute.  (Note Violet's non-stop twirling.)

 

Over scheduled

Before I even start this post/confession, I want to acknowledge that I realized I have gone over the edge. But please note that my expectations for the outcomes are low and my hope is only for the kids to have fun and learn. There is no pressure and if they don't want to continue an activity - outside of therapy - I am totally cool with it.

Here it is: I have over scheduled my kids.

London's extracurricular activities:

• Occupational Therapy
• Hippotherapy (aka horseback riding with an OT)
• Gymnastics
• Swimming

Violet's extracurricular activities:

• Yoga
• Spanish
• Art
• Gymnastics
• Ballet
• Swimming

London really excels with his therapy and swimming is calming for him. Three of Violet's activities happen at school during childcare hours, so if she wasn't doing yoga or art or learning Spanish, she'd be playing with the same toys or games that she plays with before and after her classes. 

Really, the hardest part is getting them to everything on time and with the right equipment. Still I don't think that I'd want them to give up anything. Violet LOVES ballet and gymnastics and London seems to like gymnastics too. I feel pretty strongly that every kid should know how to swim and they like their teachers. Plus, we swim together afterwards most Saturdays which is always fun.

It is kind of silly though. I never thought that I would be "that" mom but when I had to post a calendar for the babysitter and Taylor and Blu so that we could all juggle who was driving them or what kind of gear had to be packed for school, I just laughed out loud. These kids are busy and in turn, so are we. But - and this is very important - we are never too busy to have fun. A good case of the giggles is a great way to end a busy day.

Crazy Summer ... Crazier School Year

It's been a crazy summer and fall looks even nuttier but I've promised myself to start blogging again.  We had so much fun this summer. As the kids get older, it's easier to get around. Each week brought a new adventure: an amusement park, lots of time at the beach, picnics, bike rides, cookouts ... You name it, we did it. 

As the summer started drawing to a close, I noticed that London's behavior was changing. He was more easily frustrated and would become very angry. He started biting me again which was behavior I hadn't seen in a while. He could be so mean with his sister too. He'd grab her head in both of his hands and squeeze until she cried.  (Violet stood up for herself quite a bit. That little girl is strong and confident.)

I'd been putting off calling the school to talk about his SPD because I felt like he was learning how to manage all of those crazy inputs a little better but I realized that he still can't handle really stressful situations or times when the inputs where just too much for him to handle (like the amusement park or fireworks.). Now school was just around the corner and I had a lot of work on my hands. I'll give you the summary today and will write more about each experience later.

 

1. Call the school's special Ed department

2. Call the teacher

3. Get him back in OT

4. Really follow through with researching therapy with horses

5. Figure out how to get London to all of these places