It's been a big flip for me over the past year and a half or so. Going from a provider to a care giver. It's the type of thing you may not always plan on, but it happens. Let's face it, I'm a stay-at-home dad. For the most part at least.
I do work a few days a week. But it's all based around my wife's schedule at the hospital and her necessary sleep time. The bulk of it is for my own sanity of relinquishing cabin fever, especially in these days of winter where the air is too cold to even go sledding or spend more than a minute walking from the house to the car to wherever we're going again.
There's a few things I've been reading more and more from people on the world wide web that have really started to grind my gears. And it comes from both men and women...
So this goes out to all the whiners, moaners, bitchers and know-it-alls out there...
I've read plenty of posts about men griping about women who are stay-at-home moms. How they are so "lazy" and "why don't they get a real job?" And to be honest, it makes me want to punch said person in the face with a brick. Most of these comments come from single, immature men, but not always. I've seen it come from women as well. So here's the thing. Being a stay at home parent is tough. Very tough. At least if you want your child(ren) to have any sort of life besides watching tv and eating junk.
Days are spent waking up early, not only caring for yourself, but prepping for the day for another human being, who at times can feel like your drunk college buddy. They can't talk properly, walk very well, let alone dress themselves. And you're always thinking in the back of your mind if they're going to wet themselves.
Not only do you make yourself breakfast, but you make it for the little ones. And if you're like me, you're making it for your significant other (at least a good portion of the time) as well. Then in our home, it's a little play time with mommy before she heads to bed and it's back to cleaning up breakfast and feeding and taking out the dogs. And this is usually done by 8:30.
Now lets not forget we're athletes. So for someone like me, I've been up and training already. So I'm already 3+ hours into my day, accomplished some things, and I haven't even left the house.
Then comes deciding what to do with the day. Because going more than a day or two without leaving the house can drive a person crazy. So there's shopping, the mall, the library and ummm... Yea, not a whole lot of options for us to do anything that doesn't cost us money. When budgets are tight, you have to get creative.
So you've gone out of the house and done a couple things. Guess what? You get to make lunch for two people all over again. Mess up the kitchen, feed your drunk friend and let the dogs out as well. Then clean up the kitchen and play some games, color or find something interactive to do before the little one goes down for a nap.
And now it's nap time, you've got some time to breathe right? Well, not if you truly want to feel accomplished. There's bills, cleaning up the house (only to have it messed up again after nap time is over), laundry, and if you didn't get in any training in the morning, now is the time to do it. However, it's always a game to play "how long will baby nap?"
Nap time is over and it's time to find more things to do. Maybe watch a cartoon or sing some silly songs.
Let's face it, some days the options are pretty limited on what you can actually do. Recently I've been working on my bikes and have found my daughter has enjoyed watching me and playing with toys around me while I do. So there's another thing to do.
Those of you who judge so quickly when you see a mom (or a dad like me) with their child(ren) at the store during the middle of a Tuesday that we're lazy and aren't applying ourselves, you need to think again. And here are some of the choices we've made:
- I would much rather take care of my child than let her grow up spending more time with strangers
- Every second I get with them I get to control who they become and understand them better
- I learn every little sound, face and every attitude she has
- I feel a closeness with her that I'm afraid so many parents out there do not have with their children
So for those of you judging, please take a step back and ask yourself what you would do if given the choice to either stay home and care for your child. Or fork over huge portions of your paycheck just so you don't have to take care of them.
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